j'esperer..

i hope..

im tired.. i dont feel like doing anything.. not even the mountain of homework that awaits. i think i need a holiday. spa would be nice. i think i'll fast one day. im kindda getting tired of food. haha.. what a thought. i wish for the times when everything was so darn peaceful and exciting. when everything was prepared and you dont really need to think unless its something related to homework.

darn..how i wish i was just a form one member again.. when you dont have to worry about who's the next batch of people who's going to have a hold over you. wragh. when it all seemed so simple. now as you grow up, u tend to see that there's politics going on everywhere. it wont seem to stop and you urself cant seem to stop wanting it. politics, in a way, is really fun when u get to gang up with a few ppl and decide about ur future. but what if it gets too much and it gets outta hand?

grrr... i use to want to be a leader. now, leading is really tiring. leading is a really big job, no matter how many ppl is under you. i believe, as a leader, their job is to put somethings into your life. their job is to teach you, to help mould you in things that are suitable for you. to correct you when u're wrong. being level-headed and decisive in any situation. being able to do God's will even when it seems like the odds are against you.

im not a good leader. j'esperer..j'esperer..